The morning of June 12, 2016 I awoke, and started my normal routine. Grabbed my coffee, of course, and logged into Facebook. The very first thing I saw when I logged on is the message from Pulse Nightclub stating, “Everyone get out of Pulse and keep running.” Immediately, I started searching what was going on, and then saw about the shootings. I turned on CNN, my heart just sank. While listening to the constant updates, I was feverishly searching to see if any of my friends in Orlando had updated their statuses, just making sure all were ok. I turned into a total news junkie the rest of the day. Not moving from my recliner, I just kept listening to the same story over and over. I sat there; numb, thinking “what if this was me”? What if I was targeted and killed because of who I love? Then it really hit home. This was me; this was my family; my brothers and sisters. That I was targeted, because of who I was, and who I loved. The difference, I wasn’t shot; I survived.
Being someone who has been “gay bashed” not just verbally, but also physically, it opened up a lot of deep wounds for me. In my years being up on stage and speaking about equal rights; they weren’t always easy. For years, I had to have a police escort in our venues, as we celebrated our Pride, because of death threats. So, to this day, over 2 weeks after the shooting, I am still numb. I have yet to wrap my head around this heinous act. Have I cried over this tragedy? Yes. I have thought, for countless hours, trying to figure out why this happened. Why would someone come into our “safe zone” and want to inflict so much hatred, and harm to another human? These questions may never be answered. But to this day, I keep reading the news updates, and wondering why, just why anyone would want to kill another person, because of who they love.
Now, in my opinion, we live in a hypocritical society. We live in a judgmental world, and even a judgmental community. If people do not believe, say, do, look, LOVE, etc a specific way, there is always someone to say something negative about it. Unfortunately, our first amendment rights are skewed. Our rights are, in my opinion, are that you do have a voice, as long as it is the same voice that everyone else has, and if it is a voice that the majority agrees with. Not everyone should have the same ideals, and not everyone should love the same. But, in reality, our love is the same.
Every person in this world is unique, so what if we don’t have the same color skin, wear the same brand name of clothing, and who really cares if your favorite drag queen’s toes hang over her heels? Who are we to judge because someone is different?
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~ Marianne Williamson
You are never inadequate, don’t be afraid, you are fabulous, you are not small, nor insecure, liberate yourself, love who you want, be heard, stand up, and JUST BE YOU!
Deb Browning is just someone who is as equal as everyone else.
