I called my mom today and told her how upset I was after the Orlando mass murder. She tried to comfort me, but she could tell I was a bit frustrated. I told her that I wanted to tell her something. Something important. Something I needed her to hear — really hear.
I told her that Orlando was an attack against LGBT Americans. An attack that was fueled by hatred — and not the kind that some Americans imagine is limited to one particular faith or the other.Instead, I told her, this was institutionalized hatred. The type of hatred that comes from ordinary folks (teachers, preachers, politicians, and authority figures) who don’t think there’s anything wrong with using their religion and their politics to separate us — the good form the bad, the right from the wrong, the worthy from the unworthy, and the sinners from the saints. I told her that I believe these Americans are — at least partially — to blame for this and many other acts of barbarism that take place around the world today in the name of God.
I told her that I could not sit back any longer and wonder if my parents were partly to blame for this situation, given what I perceived to be their “conservative values” and their Christian faith. To be clear, my parents have never once treated me, their gay son, in any bad way. I have their total support and have been accepted by them for who I am. No questions asked. My friends and lovers included.
But, I always wondered, when push comes to shove, are my folks like so many other conservatives — smart people that know right from wrong, but still continue to help elect people who promote hatred, divisiveness and bigotry. People who still continue to support their churches when they know the preaching that is coming from the pulpit is not based on love and inclusion, but rather, hate and exclusion.
So, I asked her. Point blank. I came right out and said:
“Even though it’s a personal choice and none of my business, are you and dad really going to vote for people who don’t believe your child has a right to be treated equally, to find and marry the one he loves, to enjoy life and liberty and to pursue happiness without fear of attack. Are you and dad going to vote for someone who believes a nation of immigrants has a few too many so we need to build a wall to keep them out? Are you and dad one of those people who thinks we should ban people from visiting our country, that believes disabled people are worthy of being made fun of? Are you and dad one of those people?”
I was crying by this time, but trying to hold my tears back when she said something like this:
“This might surprise you, but your daddy and me have been sitting out on the front porch talking about this today. And, you’ll be happy to know that although we may not have always voted the way you might have wanted in the past, you have nothing to worry about today. We see what’s happening. We see the pain and the hate and the ridiculous fear-mongering. We see the lives that are destroyed. We see the pain. The anguish. And the lies.
I’ve even had to put our two cents in with a few of our friends when they bring these topics up. But, things are changing. We know who is on the right side of history and it’s not the party we used to align with. It’s not that idiot Trump who wants nothing more than to make the entire world hate us so he can make a point to his stupid reality TV fans. Your daddy and I know what’s right. And, we love you. We would never do anything to put you and other humans in jeopardy. It’s not American and it’s not the way we were raised.”
I told my mom how much it meant to hear her say those words. She and my dad are in their 70s and were raised with a different set of expectations, but not a different set of values. That’s crystal clear to me now.
I believe we are at the tipping point. The place where the vast majority of Americans can see the difference between right and wrong. Let’s work to help those who may not feel they belong with us — but definitely know they do not belong on the wrong side of history with the haters — to find a home in our community. It’s time to turn this horrible mass killing into something positive. We owe it to our brothers and sisters that were lost, injured, or otherwise impacted by this senseless killing spree. We owe it to their families. We owe it to each other.
Anything else is unacceptable.
Scott is the founder, CEO, and chief strategist at The Content Wrangler, Inc. — an LGBT Business Enterprise®. He’s also a highly sought after keynote presenter, moderator, and a frequent contributor to content industry publications. Scott’s alter ego, The Audio Wrangler, is a popular DJ and dance music mashup artist.
